Visiting bans raise some of the hardest questions in prison life. When a person goes to prison, society often forgets that they do not go alone. Their children, partners, parents, and loved ones all serve a silent sentence alongside them. It is a sentence marked by empty chairs at the dinner table, birthdays missed, and the ache of absence that cannot be softened by a phone call or a letter.
The punishment of prison is the loss of liberty. But too often, that punishment spills over to families, especially children, through strict visiting rules, long suspensions, and visiting bans that sever the most important human bonds. If we want safer communities, healthier families, and real rehabilitation, then we must defend the right of prisoners to see their families. And when bans are imposed, they must be short, rare, and never allowed to break the ties that hold families together.
Children Are the Innocent Ones
Every child has the right to know and love their parent, even when that parent is behind bars. For a child, a prison visit can be the lifeline that reassures them: “My mum still loves me. My dad still cares. I’m not forgotten.”
Now imagine what happens when visiting bans stop those meetings for months at a time. Children grow anxious, angry, and confused. They may wonder if their parent no longer loves them. They may feel abandoned or blame themselves. For some, that silence plants scars that last a lifetime.
It is already difficult for children to cope with the stigma of having a parent in prison. To take away visits, for reasons that could often be managed in safer, fairer ways, is to double their punishment. Children did not commit the crime, yet they are often the ones who suffer the most.
Partners Left Struggling Alone
Behind every prisoner there is usually a partner or loved one left carrying the burden on the outside. They may be raising children alone, juggling work and bills, or trying to manage the shame and stress of explaining a loved one’s absence.
For them, prison visits are not just about affection. They are about survival. A visit allows them to talk through worries, share decisions about their children, and remind each other that they are still a team. These conversations strengthen families so that, when the prisoner is released, there is a stable home to return to.
Long visiting bans put unbearable strain on these relationships. Couples can grow apart. Misunderstandings fester. Resentment builds. In many cases, families break down entirely. The result is not only personal heartbreak but also higher chances that the prisoner, on release, will face loneliness, instability, and a greater risk of reoffending.
Rehabilitation Needs Relationships
Decades of research have shown one simple truth: prisoners who maintain strong family ties are far less likely to reoffend. Family provides hope, responsibility, and the sense that there is something, and someone, worth changing for.
If rehabilitation is the goal, then family connections are one of the most powerful tools we have. Yet every time visiting bans are enforced for months on end, that tool is discarded. A letter cannot replace a hug. A phone call cannot replace the sight of a child running into a parent’s arms.
When we talk about crime reduction, we often focus on harsher sentences, new prisons, or stricter regimes. But the evidence points to something much simpler: people are less likely to commit crimes if they have strong family support. Denying prisoners access to that support is not only cruel, it is counterproductive for public safety.
Why Visiting Bans Must Be Short and Rare
Of course, there will be times when visits have to be suspended, perhaps due to security concerns, violence, or emergencies. But these should always be temporary and handled with care.
Too often, visiting bans are imposed for long stretches, sometimes for reasons that could be addressed with better planning or safer facilities. The problem is not only the punishment of the prisoner but the punishment of innocent families. A ban that drags on for months punishes children most of all, creating damage that cannot easily be undone.
Short, proportionate restrictions can balance safety with compassion. But lengthy bans break trust, break families, and in the long run, break down the very rehabilitation prisons are supposed to encourage.
Building a System That Values Families
If we truly want a justice system that works, we must put families at the heart of it. That means:
- Protecting the right to visits as a fundamental part of prison life, not a privilege to be removed except in the most extreme circumstances.
- Investing in child-friendly visiting spaces, where children feel safe and welcome rather than frightened or out of place.
- Using supervised visits or technology as alternatives when visiting bans are unavoidable, so that contact is never completely cut off.
- Recognising families as partners in rehabilitation, not outsiders to be controlled or ignored.
Some positive steps are already being taken. Recent reforms, such as the extension of Home Detention Curfews and new measures steering people away from short custodial sentences, show that there is a growing recognition that family and community support are key to reducing crime. But reforms must go further. The principle should be clear: no child should be cut off from their parent for months on end. No partner should be left without contact. No family should be punished twice.
A Human Story, Not Just a Policy Issue
It is easy to reduce this debate to numbers, reoffending rates, capacity measures, or sentencing bills. But at its heart, this is a human story.
It is the story of a six-year-old clutching their drawing, desperate to show it to dad but told the visit is cancelled. It is the story of a mother struggling to answer her child’s nightly question, “When will we see mum again?” It is the story of a partner holding a family together with both hands while fearing it may fall apart.
These stories are not rare. They are happening every day, in communities across the country. And unless we act to limit visiting bans, they will keep happening, with consequences that stretch far beyond prison walls.
Our Call to Action
Prison is meant to be a punishment for the individual, not a life sentence for the whole family. Families are not the problem, they are the solution. They are the steady hand, the hopeful voice, the reminder of love and responsibility that keeps people grounded.
That is why we believe visits must be protected as a right, not treated as a privilege. And when visiting bans are necessary, they must be as short as possible. Anything else is unjust, inhumane, and damaging not just to families but to society as a whole.
If we want safer communities, fewer victims, and brighter futures for children, we must start here: by keeping families together, even when prison walls stand between them.
Because at the end of the day, rehabilitation begins with love, and love cannot survive in silence.
Families belong together. Let’s make sure our justice system never forgets it.
